This is a post where I whine and cry and basically feel sorry for myself. I am apologizing in advance for those of you who care to read it and am perfectly fine about those of you who don’t.
A while back I went to a volunteer orientation for an animal rescue. I was super excited to be joining the group because they are in the process of doing really amazing things. I was so impressed with all of the programs they had in place and so many ways they were helping animals and helping people keep their animals.
We were asked to check off areas of interest to us and turn the papers in, we also went around the room introducing ourselves and giving a brief synopsis of who/what we were.
Somewhere in my introduction I mentioned I write a blog about my dogs. The person in charge said she was interested in me because they were redesigning their website and the new website had a blog and they had no idea how to write a blog.
If I say I was excited for the opportunity to get my name out there a bit more and blog in a professional fashion, that would be an understatement. I was literally over the moon.
The CEO of the organization occasionally sends out e-mails and a couple of months ago during one of our correspondences I mentioned how excited I was for the new website to be completed so I could help them with their blog. The response was, “I am too.”
Imagine my surprise when I got an e-mail from the Office Manager on Tuesday saying “I’d like to suggest that everyone have a look at our Sanctuary construction news blog on the website: you won’t believe it.”
This is an uncomfortable situation for me. I’m not very big on confrontation but there are so many times when I feel hurt and upset and I don’t say anything. It is hard (for me) to be assertive about a situation without coming across as bitchy.
Naturally I was shocked and unsure what to do, I sent an e-mail to the CEO congratulating them on the progress and then I asked, “I did have a question, I notice that you have a blog on the new website and I kind of thought I was going to be helping with that, did you change your mind?”
I knew I was uncomfortable so I was pretty sure she was as well, and I thought I bet I never get a response. But I got one this morning.
I have no problem posting the entire e-mail but it is quite long. Basically she said that there are two blogs on the website one is for adoptions and the other is for the sanctuary. It is easier for the woman directly involved in the adoptions to handle the adoptions blog because it involves less work than forwarding everything to me.
The same goes for the sanctuary blog as there is a woman right in the same town who is taking video etc. Once the project is complete she’s not sure if it won’t still be easier for the people who are on site to just continue to maintain their blogs.
She ended with “Would it be okay to wait and see how it all turns out? This is all new for us and I apologize if we dropped the ball with you. We’ve got so much activity going on that if blogging doesn’t seem to work out there are LOTS of other ways for you to get involved.”
Then she thanked me for following up.
I haven’t stopped crying since I got the e-mail.
I know it’s petty and stupid, I know there are people who have far worse problems than this, I know everything happens for a reason.
It doesn’t make it hurt any less.
I only live about 20 minutes from the project, I was expecting I would be up there every weekend checking on the progress and blogging about it; adding their website to my blog and helping promote their cause as well as raising money to help them save more animals.
I feel like I’ve been slapped in the face.
I know many of you have your own blogs and have your own reasons for blogging. Some of you do it for fun, just to have the experience of meeting other people through words.
Some of you do it for education, to have a place for people to learn and share the incredible experience and joy one gets from loving a fur baby.
Some of you are like me and want something more for your blog.
On days like today, I want nothing more than to shut the computer off and never write another word again.
Maybe I’m just not a writer.
jodistone 
Comments on: "The Post Where I Whine And Cry And Basically Feel Sorry For Myself" (42)
No, I think you are a writer and a very good one. I’m sorry that this happened. When I was the president of the Golden Retriever Rescue, whenever I had someone like you volunteer to take on something, I held onto them by their ankles, which is why I’m just sorry that this person didn’t know a good thing when she had it. But what has happened to you, I have to say I have seen happen to other people. I am wondering if these other people volunteered to do the same job as you, (not knowing you did) and the person ‘in charge’ felt like she couldn’t tell them no, and perhaps felt it was easier to say no to you, because the two of you aren’t as well acquainted–Does that make sense? I hope so. Again, I’m so sorry that this happened. I know it’s hard to not be disappointed and discouraged. And while it’s may sound a bit ‘motherish’ just know that if you don’t find another place within this particular group, just know that there are many wonderful organizations that would truly be thrilled to have you and your talent as part of their work! But hang in there, and don’t let it get you down, okay, and DON’T turn off that computer!! 🙂
Thanks Kim, you are very kind. Many years ago I was co-president of the local PTA, my experience was that there are a small handful of people who seem to be the only ones doing anything! It is very frustrating as I’m sure you know, to try and get new volunteers. Quite truthfully while I think what they are doing is amazing I’m definitely not convinced they are the right group for me.
You may be right in you assessment of the situation, perhaps this person has been there a very long time and really wanted to try her hand and the CEO felt like she had no options.
I am a bit better today after everyone’s kind words, I do hope your Sam is ok, I’ve been thinking of him a lot and it means so much to me that you would take time out of what is going on at Golden Pines to write a lovely, encouraging comment to a whiny little baby. 🙂
Remember that I am on the Outside looking In… butt I HAVE done a fair amount of volunteering for different groups and organizations and I have NEVER EVER seen a Volunteer Group.. run as smoothly as it SHOULD.
In Your Case… I suspect that there was someone who had been helping for a good while and that the “Power(s) that be” either ran up against a brick wall.. or fears the person will quit. There is a sense of loyalty to those who Have Helped so Much… and a fear of a new person not really understanding the ins and outs of the group.
SO, I would say this… You WANTED to help Before this… bump in the road… and You STILL want to help. You WILL find a WAY to be of assistance.. be it Today or Tomorrow. Remember.. the REASON you reached out in the first place… Still EXISTS.
I really DO understand how hurt you are… and I am sure that “They” do too.
Perhaps…… you could take ONE DAY each week to post about what is going on… right here on YOUR Blog… and that way the group could see and read and LEARN about YOU and your Level of Commitment!!!
I feel like I’m on the outside looking in too Frankie and Ernie! LOL You are right, I’ve already seen so many things that I just think aren’t right with this group. Not being in the ‘inner circle’ I have no idea of the politics involved in the decision, but you are right. I still want to help and I will find a way, I’m not sure if I want to blog about their progress here, but it is definitely something to consider. Thank you for stopping by and offering your support.
I had two similar experiences several years ago when I tried to donate my time and meager talents to civic organizations only to find that they had hired (as in paid) what I had volunteered to do as my way of giving back to the community.
Not being the nice person that I’m sure you are, I just gave them the figurative finger and got involved with other activities. Naturally when funding was cut as it inevitably is from time to time, the paid workers abandoned ship in a hurry. I had no desire to step in since I was now involved in opportunities where i felt appreciated.
I wouldn’t say your talents are meager Jan, honestly you’re the number two blog on Technorati, this blog didn’t even make the top 300!
Any organization that refused your talent are fools and I always say you reap what you sow. I bet in retrospect they are wishing they took you up on your volunteering. 🙂
I’m really not nice, I’d like to give them the finger. I still haven’t sent a response e-mail but I’m really not sure they are the right group for me. Thanks for the encouragement!
They lost a very talented blogger by not letting you help. Their loss, I can totally understand your disappointment, kinda the same thing I deal with when I get my hopes up about being someone’s photographer, only to have them go with someone else… half the time not even having the courtesy to tell me despite the time I spent giving them info and working with them.. Not a fun situation at all. Some above have great suggestions, don’t lose hope it’ll come around in the end.
Anna
http://www.akginspiration.com
Thank you Anna, you are very sweet. I think many times people aren’t courteous enough to let you know they went with someone else because they feel badly. Personally I’d like to give some feedback and say, “I’m sorry we went with another photographer because…..” that gives you the option of saying, but wait I do that, or I can do that or thank you very much it is something I can consider for the future.
BTW, I approved both comments (not really sure why they went into the spam folder) but I’m only responding to one. 🙂
They really missed out on a talented blogger by not taking on your help, their loss. Don’t let it get you down, it’ll all come around in the end. I totally can understand the feeling though. It’s kinda like when I get my hopes up about being a photographer for someone, only to have them choose to go with someone else in the end. And many times they too don’t inform me of their choice, despite the time I spent on giving them info etc.
many above had great suggestions… don’t let this get you down.
Anna
http://www.akginspiration.com
So sorry Jodi….it really sucks when you’re counting on an opportunity and it doesn’t pan out. There is one thing I’d like to point out – it does not sound as if they rejected you for your writing skills….it seems more that they thought it was easier for the people on site to blog…maybe they are planning to do a daily blog, and you going one time a week wouldn’t be enough? Hey, there are lots of other ways to get your name out there…I think Labs4rescue has a newsletter, what if you offer your services to them? Also, before you offer to do too much, I have to tell you that I ended up stopping volunteering to write articles for our Vizsla Club newsletter….my time is just stretched too thin to do everything I want to do. I alsp want to get my name out there, but I needed time to work on my novel too. You know, it’s a catch 22….What good is getting your name out there, if you don’t have time to write? Just a thought. BTW, how IS that novel coming along?
Thanks Donna, it is spirit breaking and I need to learn to toughen my skin. You are right, they are not rejecting me for my skills they are just going with an easier option for themselves. I was excited because I had readers I thought I would be able to bring to their blog.
Thank you for the thought about the time, you are very right. My time is extremely tight right now and it probably is better used working on that novel. It still stands at about 25,000 words, I’ve had very limited time to work on it, but expect that to change very quickly.
As always thank you for your help, guidance and friendship, it means a lot.
25,000 is an awesome start! Good going!! It’s hard to be a wife, work, take care of dogs, blog, and write a novel….I know. 🙂 I try to do the writing when the creativity drives me, and then I let everything else go for a while. The vacuum can wait. I’ve found, if I try to force it….I end up playing around on facebook or solitaire. 🙂
I am so sorry to read that this happened to you Jodi, and I do want to let you know that I know exactly how you feel, really I do.
2 months ago I responded to an ad for a blog that was looking to add some new content to their dog training blog, they wanted something different then training, something humorous. I got the job and I have been writing for them on the side. I was having a lot of fun doing it because I recently realized that I love to write and I wanted to expand outside of my blog. Everything was going great and I was making some extra money, until today:( When I received an email saying they wouldn’t be needing me to write any more posts for them at this time because the new approach they were looking to take on just wasn’t working. It was a nice email, but it totally crushed me! I was having a blast doing it and now I just want to give up, but I won’t and you shouldn’t either! You have so much to offer and I am sure there will plenty more opportunities out there for you! You are a wonderful writer!
Our situations are a bit different but the same a little, right?
Sorry about the long comment, I just wanted you to know that you’re not alone!
I agree our situations are bit different and I totally feel for you Jen.
It is their loss. You are a great writer, and you bring a lot to the table.
It’s funny, some folks don’t give something new the time to catch hold and work, while there are others who keep on hanging on too long hoping something will change. I don’t want to be the person who is not working but not knowing when to let go, you know?
I appreciate the support and you are welcome to leave as long of a comment as you want!
Take heart, this type of thing happens in all kinds of organizations. I know if feels personal, but it probably wasn’t. This may have had traction that the CEO was unaware of at the time – who knows? You can drive yourself crazy thinking of all of the possibilities and what-could-have-beens, but have faith in your passion and capabilities and move on. You’ve made a lot of contacts in a short amount of time, so I’m sure that something else will pop if you keep moving forward. Keep writing – it’s what writers do. 🙂
Thank you George, you are very good to me and I appreciate your kind words.
Creative types have to deal with rejection all the time because the work is subjective. Some people will hate it and others will think you deserve the Pulitzer. Anyway, in this instance, it sounds more like an admin mess up and/or miscommunication.
I like what George said…”keep writing. It’s what writers do”. Meanwhile, have a crap and smile 🙂 x
I like your advice, I’ll see what I can do. 😉 Thanks for the support.
Don’t you dare give up Jodi. Feel sorry for your disappointment and then put your big girl pants on. You have alot to offer. Push past the obstacles and keep trying! Sometimes it’s not the help we wanted to give, so they may need you in a different way. In the end you will reach your goal. I believe in you!!!!
Thank you Nancy, I sometimes think I can do it on determination alone and then I have a bad day and those nasty bits of self-doubt creep in. I appreciate your faith.
I think if you ever stopped writing I would cry. I found your blog (probably through life with desmond) and I must say I read every single thing you posted in one night. I look forward to hearing about you, sampson and delilah everyday. I’m sure you will find someone or somewhere that will want you to write for them as badly as you want to write for them!
Aw, that is so very sweet Katrina, welcome! Thank you for stopping by and sharing your thoughts, I hope you are right, it’s a tough venue to break into, lots of other very talented people out there.
I appreciate you taking the time to comment.
I’m so sorry for your disappointment, Jodi. If you feel like crying, you just go ahead and cry.
I’ll also share, as someone who has worked for nonprofits her entire life, the ones who work successfully with volunteers are the exception instead of the rule. One opportunity you were hoping for seems to be gone. But you’ll find others.
Eventually you’ll heal and you’ll put yourself out there for another worthy cause. Because that’s who you are.
You’re a wonderful writer–honest and true. And I second what Katrina said–if you stop writing, I’ll cry too.
Aw Pamela, thank you. I really enjoy writing but as you know when you put yourself and your thoughts ‘out there’ well….let’s just say there’s a lot of insecurity that goes along with it. We writers are a sensitive bunch.
I did a fair share of crying but I think I’m ready to continue, your support means a lot and I appreciate your comment.
Don’t give up! I know you won’t because that is just not you. See all of this support that you have in these comments? Hang in there! I like the idea that you blog about the place anyway. Freedom of speech, baby!
You know what Mary Ann, I may or I may not, I haven’t decided yet. Thank you for supporting me, it means a lot to me.
You are a writer. I’ve recently been told that writers are people who write and you definitely do that, and very well too. Not many people can touch and motivate others the way you have. Your posts often inspire me to think about things in a new way. My dog has benefited several times due to your perspective and if she could thank you, I am sure she would!
As someone who has spent most of her career in the non-profit sector I can tell you with 100% certainty that this was not even remotely personal. I know it doesn’t make it hurt any less but please know they didn’t turn down your assistance because they didn’t like you or your writing. They either thought it would be less work to do it themselves, even if not as well as you could have done it, or they forgot completely you had offered and asked somebody else. It’s hardly ideal but tragically it happens. As others above have said, volunteer coordination is tricky and few organizations do it very well.
If you are angry right now, I don’t blame you. I know there will be other opportunities out there in the future for you. Don’t give up hope that you will find the right place for you.
Thanks Kristine, is that advice from one writer to another? 😉 It’s been a while since I’ve worked for non-profit, I’ve forgotten how clicky and dysfunctional it can sometimes be.
As for inspiring you, well that’s a bonus for me, I usually feel like you are the one inspiring me. The work you’ve done with Shiva is what has kept me from giving up on Delilah, but if I’ve helped you in any way I’m truly glad.
You keep writing and I’ll keep writing, deal?
You are a writer, and a wonderful one at that. Please don’t let this bad experience discourage you.
I’ve had some disappointing interactions trying to volunteer as well, where I was offering my help and it seemed to be ignored or lost in the shuffle. As was mentioned above, those nonprofits that run smoothly & have great volunteer relations are often the exception rather than the rule. It really is possible that they just dropped the ball in following up with someone who had expressed interest after someone else said they’d handle it.
The right opportunity will come along – I just know it!
It is frustrating, isn’t it? There you are all prepared to jump in head first and throw everything you’ve got into it and they either forgot you or want you for something else.
Thanks for the support, I really appreciate it.
Hi Jodi,
I’m so sorry you’re feeling miserable about this.
Just remember you all have the same intention – to help the animals and they still need all of you – who knows why you didn’t get to help in the way you hoped, but I’m sure you’ll be able to contribute in some way that gives you pleasure – sometimes things happen that don’t make sense at the time, hang in there….
Sending you wags to make you smile 🙂
Your pal Snoopy 🙂
Thank you Snoopy, yes we all want to save animals, that is the goal right? Maybe they’ll let me work with the dogs, that would be lovely.
Thank you for the wags, they did make me smile!
More proof that politics is insidious no matter the organization.
I think it was probably more that than anything else (now that I can look at it with less emotion.) Someday I will laugh about this, but today is not the day. 🙂
You are definitely a writer! Don’t let things like this frustrate you. I doubt the woman was trying to make a comment about your skills.
Just have fun with this group, and maybe offer to do guest posts about events you’re involved in, if you think its something that will make you happy.
Thank you Lexy, I appreciate your support. I will find the right thing, for sure!!
[…] The Post Where I Whine And Cry And Basically Feel Sorry For Myself – Update […]
I do not know how I missed this post, (well actually I do and will blog on that in the future). Thank goodness for follow-up Friday! I am stunned. I think you have been treated terribly. It sounds like politics. If you do not fit in with this organization, maybe you could find another that appreciates your skills (wish I could bold the last four words). Hey your time is precious and if it is not appreciated, then I would move on. There have got to be lots of organizations that NEED your help. Everyone needs to feel like they are contributing or they just stop helping. I don’t think the way you have been treated has anything to do with your writing skills. Sorry you feel hurt (and I do not blame you). That organization is the one missing out.
I have an idea that you are slightly busy with three dogs. 🙂
Thank you for the support, I waffle between helping them out and telling them no thanks. The thing is they are very huge and they will do fine without me, perhaps my talents are better spent on a smaller operation that could really use the exposure. 🙂
Thank you for supporting me, I really appreciate it.
I’m so sorry Jodi. I too hate disappointment. I applaud you for being direct with the organization after they led you to believe that you would be handling the blog. As someone that also has a hard time being assertive, I know how difficult and uncomfortable this can be, but it was the right thing to do. Once the sting of this experience passes, I encourage you to continue to write this blog, as well as look for other writing opportunities. Creative work sadly involves a lot of rejection (I know this firsthand), so it’s very important to remain positive and confident in your abilities. Soon, an even better opportunity will present itself and this experience will be ancient history!!!!
Thank you Tanya, my experience has been that when I have a confrontation with someone I am a ‘b*tch.’ I’ve yet to find a way to resolve an issue without coming across that way or feeling like I’m acting like a baby. Disappointment is a bitter pill to swallow (I liken it to the taste of Xanax, LOL) and when you’ve gotten your hopes up, and been led to believe that something was yours for the taking, well I found it particularly hard. For about six months I thought the position was mine, had I known it wasn’t I would have been looking for other opportunities. Lesson learned, it won’t happen again. 🙂
Thanks for the support! I hope the tide will turn for us soon!
You are a writer. And you can’t stop writing. Too many of us look forward to reading your words. This is one organization, one disappointment, one “no” — just one. On the other hand, look at all of the “yes” that you have from all of us — that has to count for something 🙂 Rock on Jodi.