Life with Sampson and Delilah….The 411

Archive for the ‘Humor’ Category

The Difference Between My Dogs

I’ve frequently written about how different my dogs are.  Not just in coloring, but in personality as well.

Delilah is an in your face, demanding type of dog, if you won’t give her what she wants, she’ll figure out a way to get.

Sampson on the other hand has learned or was born with the art of patience.

Case in point.  Yesterday we had a family function.  I won’t bore you with all the specifics, but will tell you that I failed epically on the grill.

How can there still be fire in the grill when you have shut off both the burners AND the gas tank?

Beats me.

All I can say is good thing my sister likes her hot dogs burnt.

Anyway in typical Delilah fashion, she kept wandering over to the breakfast bar where the food was and attempting to scarf what she could.  Yes she eventually was successful and managed to get the top bun off a cheeseburger.

Sampson in his typical laid-back fashion went in a different direction.

I know there’s watermelon up there. Hey watermelon, get in my belly.  Now.

In my typical fashion I got up and got him some watermelon. 🙂

Persistence pays off, just be the dog.

Training Tidbits

Delilah and I got to class a bit early on Tuesday so I’d have the opportunity to discuss her reactivity with our instructor, Jackie.

Jackie’s suggestion is to practice the look command.  Some people call it watch, others use look; it really is just a matter of preference.

To train look you put a tiny treat between your thumb and middle finger, then with your pointer finger extended bring your finger up to your nose and say look.  When the dog looks directly into your eyes, YES and reward.

Unless you are using the clicker, yes is always the marker.  Not good girl, yes.

Once you have your dog looking at your when you say look, you will want to add distractions.

We started the distractions like this.  Grab two large, yummy treats one in each hand and place your hands straight down against your legs.  Now raise your arms out like you are making a ‘T’ and say look.  It may take a few minutes for your dog to get it, that’s okay, once your dog looks you in the eyes, yes (or click if you are using the clicker) and treat.

You will begin to increase your distractions the longer you train.  This will become so ingrained in your dog that if a squirrel darts in front of you, you should be able to say look and refocus your dog on you.   Now that I’ve written that, I would say you could also use focus.

Jackie said that I really need to watch Delilah’s body language and it’s true, I can usually tell when she is going to react by the way she stiffens her body.   The thing is I can never tell which dog she will react to!

While Jackie and I were standing talking, two dogs came in and nothing.  The next dog, BAM.  I quickly said Delilah look and she spun around to me!

Yay success!!  Except I wasn’t supposed to use her name.

Since Jackie had Delilah and I working on look, she thought the rest of the class should work on it as well.   Some of them have trained previously with her so they were allowed to go straight to trying the distraction portion.  Delilah and I just worked on look.

This class has about eight dogs in it and all the owners are women.

I don’t know all the breeds of dogs but I am slowly learning their names.  Jersey is a little black pit bull type dog, who in the previous two weeks came only with her mom.  Tuesday night her mom AND dad came to class.

Jersey’s dad said, she won’t look at me, all she does is bark.

Jackie said, you may have to lure her with a treat.

To which he replied, I don’t want to use treats, I want her to look at me because I asked her to.

My inner bitch silently screamed, that is such a male attitude!  You must do what I say because I am the man and I am the alpha and dominate being.

I almost said it out loud, but I somehow restrained myself.

Jackie then said well if that’s the case, then you should leave the room when she barks at you and only come back in when she is calm.

He spent the rest of the night going in and out the door.

My inner bitch was laughing herself silly.

With about 10 minutes to go we went outside to work on recalls, using a long check cord.  Jackie wanted us outside so we could spread out.

I kept Delilah in the parking lot while everyone else found spots on the grass.

I surreptitiously took a few pictures.  They aren’t great shots and you’ll have to excuse the dumpsters, but I wanted a picture of Jersey’s dad for this post.

Jersey’s dad, noticed the crossed arms.  He’s not open to this type of training. 🙂

This is Milo and his mom working on his recall with the check cord.

And here is my pretty girl, tired after doing so much work.

Would you stop flashing that? You keep jerking the wheel and I’m trying to sleep!

I’m excited to be working with Delilah on look.  I think this is going to be a great tool for us.

Oh we also got our clickers last night and started teaching touch.  But that’s for another post.

What do you think?  Have you ever used this command with a reactive dog and did you have success or not?

Another Post About Poop

It’s been great being on vacation this week, even though I didn’t get nearly enough accomplished with this blog.  What I did enjoy quite frequently was early morning walks.  You know, before it got too stinkin hot out.

Yesterday as we were making our way across the field I could tell Delilah had to poop.  It’s just a skill I was born with I guess.

When she stopped to drop, I noticed something really red around her (what the hell do you call it?)  I’m calling it her bung hole.

Look I know it’s gross but she is always in front of me on a long leash so most times when she poops I’m staring at her bung hole.

Anyway, it was really red, almost like blood and so I took a couple of steps closer and reached down to lift her tail for a good look.

Stop it, I know it’s gross.

Do you want to hear the rest of the story or not?

It kind of looked like a purple shiny thing was sticking out, similar to what I thought a hemorrhoid might look like.

I called the vet.  They were busy so I left a message.

When we got home I had Hubby look at it.  It wasn’t as obvious as when I saw it but he did see something and agreed we should have it checked.

The vet’s office returned my call and said they could see Delilah at 5:20.

We were scheduled to see Dr. Ulery, someone we had never seen before.

When Dr. Ulery came in my dog was gaga.  I’m not kidding, I have never seen her smile SO much, she leaned into Dr. Ulery with a big smile on her face and Dr. Ulery loved on her.

Truthfully, I was a little jealous, I think she might have actually liked the Dr. more than she likes me.

Then the fun stopped and the sirius part of the exam began.  I asked if Dr. Ulery would mind me taking pictures for my blog.  I suppose I might have asked Delilah but since she couldn’t answer me anyway, I didn’t.

I forbid you to put this picture on the blog mom! It’s humiliating.

Dr. Ulery gave her a thorough exam, she did notice that one of her glands was full so she expressed that for her, but besides that she couldn’t find any signs of an infection or a hemorrhoid.

This is Ali, the vet tech loving on my girl.

I tried to explain what I had seen and my best description was it looks like a red-rimmed eye.  Dr. Ulery said that is actually what their butt looks like when they poop.

Then she asked if it would be okay if she called me on Monday or Tuesday to see how Delilah was doing.  Are you kidding I wanted to say, shoot me your cell phone number I’ll let you know how she’s doing every single day. 🙂

I thanked her for not thinking I was nuts for bringing my dog in because I thought I saw something, and told her I would much rather bring my dog in and have them tell me it was nothing, then bring my dog in too late.

She said she was glad I had that attitude and wished that more of her patients had the same attitude.

As for Delilah, well she got treaties from Ali, rubbies from Dr. Ulery and had a normal poop this morning.

How about you, have you ever gone to the vet and been told it was nothing?

Thoughts From A Walk

Most days I use my walking time to plan blog posts or think about plot lines for my book.  The other day as we were walking I started wondering just exactly what was running through each of our minds as we walk.

I took a stab at it tonight.

We pull up to the park.

Sampson with his head out the window – I know I saw a deer just up there on the trail, where is it?

Delilah – Mom hurry up and open the door, I’ve got to pee.

Me – Sampson pull your big punkin head in the window, I want to walk.

As we get to the entrance to the field:

Sampson – Let me check the field, there’s usually someone in the field.

Delilah – Oooh, there’s a nice smelly spot in the field, I hope mom lets me roll in it.

Me – Dang it’s buggy out, what do they eat when I’m not here?

We turn right and head up the hill, Sampson is running ahead searching for deer, people or dogs.  Delilah and I trudge steadily along behind him.

Sampson stopping for a quick sniff – It smells like Brady’s been here once today.

Delilah – Why does mom keeping making me stop while she swats at me.

Me – Why haven’t I replaced that electric bug zapper, I could kill all these stinkin’ flies and stop them from biting Delilah.

We reach the opposite entrance to the park.

Sampson – Let’s run over to Brady’s and see if he’s out.

Delilah – I wish mom would drop this leash, I love running in this neighborhood.

Me – Ok, if we go around one more time, then head down the yellow and back up the orange, we should reach the car with about a half hour’s walk.

We take a left and head deeper into the woods, Sampson runs off looking for a place to pop a squat.

Sampson – Springing like a deer across the path, I pooped, I pooped.

Delilah – Hmmm someone pooped here, I think I’ll just pee on it.

Me kicking at some poop – Who the hell let’s their dog crap right in the middle of the path and doesn’t even bother to kick it off to the side.

We approach the field, this time from the opposite direction.

Sampson – Maybe someone’s in the field now, I better run ahead and see.

Delilah – I’ve got to poop, don’t worry mom I’ll cover it up.

Me – Holy smack that was close, she almost kicked dirt in my face!

We make our final turn and head down the orange trail towards the car.

Sampson nudging up beside me – Look mom I came back to you, give me a treat please.

Delilah turning around and pushing between me and Sampson – Hey that’s not fair, I want a treat too.

Me – Hang in there girl, just a few more minutes, you can do it.

We get back to the car and load up for home.

Sampson – I can’t wait to get home, the first thing I’m going to do is climb into the pool and cool myself down.

Delilah – Is it dinner time yet?

Me – My God I’m hot, I think my sweat has sweat.  I need a nice cold margarita.

What do you think about when you’re walking your dog?

Why My Vet Shouldn’t Give Me Her Cell Phone Number

A few months back I had an eye exam scheduled.  About two hours before the exam, my Dr. called me on my cell phone to tell me the office was without power and they would be contacting me to reschedule the appointment.  She mentioned that she was calling from HER cell phone because the office phones were down.

As soon as we hung up I saved her number.

At the rescheduled appointment I told her I saved her number and don’t be surprised if she gets a call from me.  We both laughed, but I was dead sirius.

If you call or text my cell phone, I’m saving your number.  Do you hear that Mr. Obama?  You better make sure to dial the right number, because you don’t want me having yours.

A few years back I got a text about a bond.  I played along, asking questions.  Finally the guy wised up and called me, he said he had the wrong number, and could I just delete the text.  Naturally I asked him what he did, and I found out he’s a bail bondsman.

Hmmmm… good number to have just in case Mr. Obama does call my phone number by accident.  I stored the bail bondsman’s number in my phone, it simply says, Bondsman.

You never know when you might need to post bond…

I like having people’s numbers in my phone.  For instance, I have my State Senator’s cell number in my phone and call him when I need his thoughts or his ear. 🙂

Oh yes, I am that woman.

While I was on the phone with the vet’s office Friday night I joked with the receptionist that my vet better hope I never get her cell phone number.  If I did, I imagine I would probably text her quite a bit.

It might go something like this:


Me: Hi Dr. Soutter this is Jodi Stone, I have a question for you about Sampson.

Dr. Soutter: How did you get this number?

Me: Um… I think I saw it accidentally the last time I was in your office.  Anyway, Sampson threw up his breakfast this morning and I was wondering if you thought it was something I should be worried about?

Dr. S: Jodi, I know you worry, but unless Sampson is vomiting every meal, I think you should just keep an eye on him.  And please, forget you got this number and call the office next time.

Me: Thanks Dr. Soutter, have a great day!!


Me: Hi Dr. Soutter, on our walk today the dogs, particularly Delilah kept getting chomped at by deer flies.  I was wondering if you knew of anything I could give them that would repel the deer flies.  Oh and gnats too!

Dr. S: Is this Jodi?

Me: Yes, yes it is!

Dr. S: If you have a question please phone the office.  The receptionist should be able to help you with insect repellent questions.  I would really prefer to keep our relationship professional.

Me: Ok Dr. Soutter, have a great day! 


Me: Hey Dr. S, you know Sampson and Delilah are on the garlic tablets right?  Well I forgot to give them a dose, do you think they’ll be ok?  I hate to give them too much because it does make them gassy and oooh, boy you don’t want to be around for that one! LOL

Dr. S: I think they’ll be fine.  Again, please call the office with your questions.  Now if you’ll excuse me, I have surgery to perform. 

Me: Thanks Dr. S, have a great day!


Me: Hey Alexis, how’s it going?  I forgot to mention yesterday that Delilah is gulping her water.  What are your thoughts on this?

Dr. S: Jodi, call the office with your questions. 

Me: OMG, you stored my cell phone info!!  I’m so excited.  Are you free today for lunch?

Dr. S: I’m trying to be nice and professional but you are pushing my buttons.  What you are doing is bordering on harassment!  And please, we are not friends, call me Dr. Soutter and NO I AM NOT FREE FOR LUNCH!

Me: Thanks Alexis!  Have a great day!!


Me: Hey A, you won’t believe this, but I found two white hairs on Delilah’s back, do Chocolate Lab’s usually get white on their back?

Me: Alexis?  Alexis?  Are you mad at me?

Response:  I’m sorry, you have the wrong number, there is no Alexis here.  I just got this number today….

YEP, if she’s smart, she probably shouldn’t give me her number. 🙂

Persistence Pays Off – Just Be The Dog

Last week I wrote a post about Sampson and his efforts to get to the field on one of our walks so he could greet some fellow hikers.  Sampson not being a projective thinker had no idea once he reached the field the hikers would have moved on.

I let him lead us to the field, but he was disappointed that they were no longer there.

What I didn’t write about was how at the end our walk, the hikers Sampson was so eager to greet were just exiting the field as we approached.

His persistence paid off.

My topic now turns to poop.  Listen, if you are in my inner circle you talk poop.  It’s that simple.  Poop happens so you might as well talk about it, chuckle about it whatever.  It’s a fact of life.

When I’m walking the dogs I keep a good eye on them while they poop.  Since they are on the raw diet their poops can be really hard.   Sometimes I swear it looks like Sampson is pooping sand, it’s that dry.

One of my friends who feeds raw told me her dog’s poop was so hard, it hurt Lily when she pooped.  Ever since then, I’ve kept a good eye on them to make sure they aren’t uncomfortable.

Last night during our walk Delilah was trying to drop a deuce.  She has a tendency to squat, drop, walk etc.

Delilah assumed the position and I saw a little gopher pop its head out, but then it went back in.  She took a couple of steps and tried again but still nothing happened.   She looked at her backside (I’m not sure if she was trying to scare it out or what) and tried once again.

I pulled out my cell phone and called the vet.

Luckily I got right through and the gal on the end of the line was able to send a vet tech back to speak directly with the Dr.

While I was waiting for a response, Delilah kept trying.

It took her a couple of minutes but she eventually showed that turd who was the boss.  But she only passed the one.

Meanwhile the vet tech came back on the line with this juicy tidbit, Dr. Soutter said to try to run Delilah a little (it was hot as blue blazes out) and if I felt comfortable I could reach down there and pull it out.

(No thanks, I’d rather pay you $50 to do that.)

I mean if it was a matter of life and death, of course I would have done it, but she was persistent and kept at it and it paid off.

I did take her down to the field and ran for about a minute, (siriusly it was hot out) and of course I kept an eye on her to make sure she pooped. (She did this morning.)

Persistence pays off, Just Be The Dog.

Be The Dog

Back in April, Pamela over at Something Wagging had a post titled, You Can’t Do That! Oh yeah? Watch Me.

In the post Pamela made the observation that there are so many people who tell us what we cannot do.  Pamela stated “Well I like surprises—people and animals that do awesome things because they don’t know they’re not expected to do them well.”

Then she posted a video of a St. Bernard doing agility.

I know.  Not normally a dog you would associate with that sport.

But here’s the kicker, the St. Bernard has no idea that the agility ring isn’t designed for large dogs, he just knows that it’s something he enjoys doing.  And he does it quite well I might add.

In the comments I noted in response to another blogger’s comment, “it’s much harder trying to do something others tell you, you can’t, then doing something when you just don’t know better.”

I ended the post with, “Be the St. Bernard.”

Pamela said it was a lovely mantra.

A couple of weeks ago Pamela had another post, Don’t Worry About Messing Up Your Hair, in which she noted dog’s aren’t self-conscious like humans are.

A dog doesn’t care what it looks like after rolling in that mud puddle, the dog just knows that the mud puddle looks fun.  After this post I noted perhaps the mantra should change from Be The St. Bernard to Be The Dog.

Dogs have a way of living in the moment, it doesn’t matter how their day went, if you come home and say want to go for a walk, the dog seizes the opportunity.

The dog has no idea of what it can’t do.  Can’t isn’t a word dogs understand.

After listening to today’s keynote speaker, Lena West via the live stream from BlogPaws 2012 Conference I’ve decided I need to take can’t out of my vocabulary.

There are a number of things I need to do if I want to take this blog to the next level.

If I want this blog to live up to its full potential, I need to seize opportunities.

I need to be the dog.

WTF Wednesday

Surprise!  My WTF Wednesday is directed at my own house. 🙂

First at Hubby.

What? (He doesn’t read this blog so he’s not even going to know I’m doing it.  Judge me if you want. I’m rubber you’re glue it bounces off me and sticks to you.)

When I say we’re going to bed, why do you get up and get your snack?

W.T.F? Don’t you know you’re hungry before then?  Or is there something magical in the words we’re going to bed that instantly make you hungry?

I’m not like you, I can’t fall asleep in the blink of an eye.  And you coming to bed a half hour later than Sampson, Delilah and I do is disruptive.

It means everyone shifts positions and if I’ve been lucky enough to fall asleep BEFORE you come in, then I’m woken up and have to get the dogs comfortable again.

Maybe I just have to tell you I’m going to bed a half hour before I’m actually ready.

Yeah, that’s it.  That might remedy the situation.

AND Delilah, you didn’t think you were going to get out of this post did you?

Listen, a lot of dogs don’t even have a pillow on the floor, nevermind a sleep comfort bed.  Just because you didn’t get your spot on the bottom of the bed last night does not give you the right to sit at the end of the bed and bark until someone moves!


How many times have you heard me say I can’t sleep or seen me get up in the middle of the night and move into the other room?

Really Delilah, I think just once you could have sucked it up and slept up near the head of the bed.

Just once.

Besides you know Sampson is going to get off the bed within an hour or two.

Is it too much to ask for consideration from your fellow bed mates?

Thank you.

Tomorrow you will be returned to your regularly scheduled blog post.

Can’t a girl get a little shut-eye around here?


Good Dog Gone Mad

Since the beginning of March every weekend Hubby and I have been working at our old house getting it ready for new tenants.  Fingers crossed they move in next month. 🙂

I try to keep my time over there to one day per weekend, usually Saturday.  Most Saturdays once I am up and have had a cup of coffee, I’m heading over to the other house.  Every three or four Saturdays I have to pick up dog food which makes for a crazy day.

Since my Saturdays are so jam-packed, that means all the household chores I typically spread out over two days, get done (or not) on Sundays.

To say this schedule is wearing on our household is an understatement.

And Sampson let me know exactly how mad he was yesterday, and in no uncertain terms.

Sampson is good dog. Besides his long walks in the woods, he likes nothing better than hanging out with his peeps.  In fact, if Hubby is outside in the front yard working on his jeep or working in the garage, Sampson can be found hanging out in the driveway.

I must watch for people. I love people.

He’s also very smart.  Last week he was hanging outside at dinner time.  I stepped out the door and he looked at me.  I said, “It’s time for dinner.”  He followed me into the house.

Yesterday he was a good dog gone mad.

It was my day to run for dog food.  I was on the road by 8:30.  I drove 35 minutes to get dog food, then headed home stopping at Trader Joe’s on my way back to pick up groceries for the next three weeks.  I got back to our place about 10:20, unloaded the dog and people food and turned around to head out to the other house.

As is my habit, I give the dogs their garlic tablets as I walk out. I pretend they are treats and the dogs humor me.

I tossed Jaw’s Delilah’s at her and handed Sampson his.  He turned his head.

I moved the garlic tablet under his nose and he turned his head again.

I pushed the tablet into his mouth and he spit it out at me.  Three times.

I gave Delilah her second one and offered the other tablet to Sampson again.  Again he turned his head.

I threw the tablets in the trash and left.

I plan on wrapping it up at the other house next Saturday morning.

AFTER I walk the dogs.

Thankful Thursday

So many times I write my blog with nothing but complaints. 😦  What can I say, I try to be the glass half-full kind of girl – until I’m not. 🙂

When I look at my life objectively, I really have been blessed.  I have an awesome family, two incredible dogs, a roof over my head, a job and an amazing blogging family.

I am resolving to be more like the dogs and just roll with it, or in it if the occasion calls for it. 🙂

Having typed said that, I have also been very blessed to be honored by some of my fellow bloggers.  (Siriusly, if I’ve typed it, have I actually said it?  Or do I need to say it out loud as I’m typing it for it to count?)

The Sunshine Award

Two Thursdays ago I was awarded The Sunshine Award from one of my newest blogging friends, Jetty over at “Hey It’s Jet Here.”  Sorry for taking so long to acknowledge this Jetty, I do appreciate you thinking of us.

There are guidelines which go with this award and they are as follows:

Link the award to the person who gave it to you.

See above. 🙂

Answer the questions that come with it.
  • Favorite number: 4 or 13 it’s a toss-up, but probably 4.
  • Favorite Non-alcoholic drink: Seltzer
  • Facebook or Twitter:  Facebook, it takes a while for me to catch on to some technologies. 🙂
  • My Passion:  Helping animals.
  • Favorite pattern:  There are patterns? I’m pretty typically a solid color person myself.
  • Favorite Day of the Week:  I’d have to say Sundays, those are generally my chill days.
  • Favorite Flower: Sweet Pea.
Pass it along to 10 people and let them know they have received it.

This is the part I don’t like.  Not that I don’t love all of your blogs, but it is hard choosing just 10, so I’m passing it out to anyone who wants it.  😉 Take the badge and share the love.

You Make Me Shine

THEN… if the Sunshine award wasn’t enough, yesterday our dear friend Bassa celebrated her one year of blogging, by creating the “You Make Me Shine Award.”  Celebrating 52 weeks of blogging, this award was bestowed on 52 blogs and I’m so honored to be listed with so many amazing and talented bloggers.

Check out this photo of Bassa, if that doesn’t bring a smile to your face I don’t know what will.

Bassa, thank you so much for sharing this award with me.  Your daily observations on your walks have been a bright spot in many of my days.  I’m thankful for you and your blog and of course the tall person. 🙂

What do you have to be thankful for today?

Tag Cloud